Premarital Counseling and Why You Should
Let me start off by saying, premarital counseling was not something that we thought we needed. And it definitely wasn’t a “must have” on our wedding check list. We weren’t actively seeking out a situation where we’d talk about our feelings and the “hard” stuff about marriage. I knew a lot of my friends who had recently gotten married went through it, but never thought it was something we’d do. After all, we’ve been dating for almost eight years and know everything about each other. What could there possibly be to talk about that we hadn’t already talked about?
Baby Josh and Allison circa 2009 (Senior Year of High School)
But, God had other plans. When we booked our officiant (our high school principal and Josh’s basketball coach) he insisted and we couldn’t say no.
We honestly didn’t know what to expect our first session, but afterwards, we were believers. I think everyone needs to go through at least a few sessions and here’s why:
- You’ll leave encouraged. In all the craziness of wedding planning and the hectic day to day, it’s an hour that you can focus on you and your relationship.
The first session we talked about what things drive us crazy. I know, what a great way to start things off. For me it was Josh wanting all of the dishes on the right side of the sink (why is there even a left side?) For him, it was me being a slob and leaving my shoes in the middle of the living room almost every day. Once we identified these issues, I noticed that in the weeks to follow, we consciously made an effort to be better at those seemingly little things.
And even if we were going over stuff we already knew, I remember leaving our first session largely encouraged and like I had breathed a breath of fresh air.
- You’ll be on the same page. And if not the same page, at least the same paragraph. You’ll feel better about being able to talk about it, too. Premarital counseling goes over the basics–how to love each other, finances, children, everything. And a lot of it, are things you don’t talk about in every day conversation. How many kids, when, and how to raise them is not a conversation you have over Taco Tuesday. But, it’s nice to be reminded that you CAN talk about these things and that you SHOULD talk about these things.
- Your relationship will be stronger. Seems silly, but it’s true! You’ve talked/are talking about the “hard” things like pros and seeking wisdom when you don’t know what to do.
As I mentioned before and for anyone who knows us personally, we’re going on EIGHT years of dating. That’s a long time of ups and downs and getting to know each other. But yet, with our weekly sessions leading up to our wedding, I feel that our relationship has never been stronger.
So if you’re on the fence about premarital counseling, take the leap. Talk about your feelings and the “hard” things in life. You won’t regret it. It will be one of the best things you can possibly do for your relationship and upcoming marriage.